The Replacements

LaMar-a-Lago didn't just win, they torched the league's basement dweller in a 136.50 to 69.72 blowout that made a mockery of the already lopsided 51.02-point spread. Ja'Marr Chase looked every bit the star with 23.00, Kenneth Walker punched in 20.80, and Lamar Jackson chipped in 14.80 to power NolanGrush's squad up to 4th in the standings. Meanwhile, Johnshtn's Jayden Daniels and Malik Willis tried to keep pace with 13.74 and 12.48, but it wasn't nearly enough, and the offense posted the lowest score in the entire league this week. Adding insult to injury, Bo Nix quietly dropped 14.12 on Johnshtn's bench — though with a deficit this massive, starting him couldn't have changed a thing. The loss drags Johnshtn to 0-2 and stuck at the bottom of the standings for a second straight week.

Minshew Mania didn't just win, they put on a clinic, with Josh Allen slinging 39.82 points and Jaxon Smith-Njigba adding a jaw-dropping 38.00 while Amon-Ra St. Brown chipped in 30.70 to round out the league's best score of the week. CDU tried to keep pace behind Bryce Young's 24.08 and Tyler Shough's 21.38, but it was never close, with the 95.28-point margin making this the most lopsided beatdown in the league this week. To add insult to injury, Tre Tucker dropped 20.40 points from CDU's bench, though it wouldn't have mattered — starting him couldn't have changed the outcome. Minshew Mania stays perfect at 2-0 and cruises to the top of the standings, easily covering a massive 55.38-point spread, while CDU slides to 1-1 and tumbles to 6th.

Beta-Blocker rode a big Dak Prescott outing, backed by C.J. Stroud and Kyren Williams, to a 93.78 to 85.54 win in the closest matchup of the week. Cam Ward and rookie Denzel Boston tried to keep Eli77 afloat, but the real gut-punch was Kirk Cousins sitting on the bench with 20.22 points — and starting him in place of Drake Maye's 8.02 would have flipped this one. Eli77 covered the 13.28-point spread but still falls to 0-2, stuck at 9th. Beta-Blocker climbs to 1-1, holding steady at 8th.

Money Talks backed up its name with a full ledger of stars, as Davante Adams cashed in for 35.50, Travis Kelce hauled in 29.60, and Jonathan Taylor rumbled for 27.20 to bury Childs Play by 37.74. Brock Purdy's 28.48 and DeVonta Smith's 22.70 kept Childs Play afloat, but it wasn't enough against a Money Talks squad that erased a massive 30.73-point spread deficit and covered in emphatic fashion. Adding insult to injury, Dalton Schultz quietly stacked up 32.00 points from the bench for Childs Play — though even starting him couldn't have flipped this one. Money Talks climbs to 2-0 and jumps to 2nd in the standings, while Childs Play slides to 3rd at 1-1 after a game that looked like a mismatch on paper and played out even worse in practice.

tannerorchard rolled to a 131.96 to 100.26 win behind a monster CeeDee Lamb night (31.30) and a steady Matthew Stafford (26.98), the kind of top-of-lineup production that's hard to overcome. Bake2803 leaned on Patrick Mahomes' 28.98 and Stefon Diggs' 19.20, but it wasn't enough to close the gap, even with Jared Goff quietly posting 27.78 from the bench — though starting him couldn't have flipped this one. Both squads sit at 1-1, but the standings shuffled: tannerorchard climbs to 5th while Bake2803 slides to 7th. The 35.86-point spread had tannerorchard as a heavy favorite, yet Bake2803 kept it respectable enough to cover. Oh, and keep an eye on Terrance Ferguson stashed on tannerorchard's taxi squad — 20.40 points says the future's looking bright there.